Hermione and the Banana
by immahorny
Summary: Hermione gets a little bored one summer day. With the help of a banana and a condoms, she's not bored anymore. CAUTION: HEAVY SMUT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


**I'm back! I got loads of great reviews about Come on, Be a Man. I heard that people don't like Ron in Smut, but this one has a mention of Ron. I hope you enjoy! ***Caution: M-rated for a reason. HEAVY SMUT. If you are morally against masturbation or whatever, don't read this. Seriously*****

**I'm not only planning on doing HP Smuts. I have 2 Graceling ones planned and in the maker.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I just make them sexy/horny/whatever.**

**Happy Masterbation! 3 immahorny**

It's the summer holidays and I am very annoyed. I'm stuck at my house for a few weeks before I'm allowed to go to Ron's, and I miss him terribly. My parents are out as usual, and I have nothing to do. I'm still not sure why I'm needed to come home when the whole time I'm here, they're at work.

Another thing: I am very horny. I love Ron, but he doesn't get it. He's so thick, and I've needed to kiss him and to run my hands through his hair for years, but he's lusting after Lavender. I don't know what to do. I have an ache in my nether regions, and I don't know how to get rid of it. I suppose there's only one thing to do…

I walked into the drugstore with my head held high, but my heart beating like a bongo drum and my legs shaking. I still can't believe I'm about to do this. I see one of the store attendants dressed in red and I go over to her.

"Excuse me," I said.

"How may I be of assistance today?" she asked – I thought it sounded rehearsed, but I don't care.

"Er, where could I find the, er," I faltered. "Condoms?" I whispered.

"You know, there are very few people who are willing to ask me that. They are in isle five, with all the sanitary products." She answered.

"Er, also, could you maybe help me find one? I need to buy it for my friend, and I don't know which to get." I lied through my teeth, but I just needed the help.

"Sure thing," she said, walking towards isle five. "Here are the selections. We have Trojans, Amore, Beyond Seven, Caution Wear, Crown Condoms, Female Condoms, and many others. What is your friend looking for?" She asked me. I got overwhelmed by all the choices.

"I think she wants one that will give her the most pleasure, but she doesn't necessarily need birth control," I answered.

"Okay…I think that she'd be best off with Trojan Extra Ribbed ECSTASY. They feel really good to the girl," she said, pulling a yellow package off the shelf.

"Thanks," I said. I left her to go check out and go home so I could try my experiment.

I got home and stopped in the kitchen to pick up a banana. I tried to pick the biggest one, because I knew that if I ever got with Ron, he'd have a big penis. I took my banana and condom up to my room. It was about noon, so I knew my parents wouldn't be home for a couple of hours. It was good, because I couldn't use a Silencing Charm.

First, I stripped down to just my knickers, and I began rubbing the banana to my sex. It felt so good that I started moaning. Once I was nice and wet, I stopped and got out my box of condoms. I took out one and read the instructions as to how to put it on. I ripped the foil and began to unroll it onto the banana. I saw the ridges and I felt myself getting wetter. Once it was fully rolled, I took off my knickers and got ready to make myself fly.

*****M rating begins here. Dirty language and explicit*****

I ran the banana about my clit and felt each rib, making me gasp. This already felt amazing. I slowly dipped the banana into my hole, just a little bit. I couldn't explain how good it felt. I continued pushing it in, until it was completely sheathed. Last summer, Molly Weasley put a charm on me that made it so I couldn't break my hymen – only my husband could, so even though I had a banana all the way in my, to my husband, I would still be a virgin. Anyway, back to the ecstasy I was feeling. I slowly moved the banana in and out.

"AHHH-gods!" I cried. "Fuck – holy Merlin – Uhhh – uhgn – huh huh huh!"

I continued pushing the banana in and out of me. They lady was right – this was pure ecstasy. When I pushed it in, the ribs brushed against my inner walls, and the lower ribs hit my clit and sensitive outer lips.

"Oh mother of Merlin! Oh-oh-oh!" I screamed as I moved my hand faster.

The banana was curled, making the friction more intense. I switched my angle, hitting my G-spot each time. I thought I was going to die in sheer pleasure.

"Oh fuck, fuck, FUUUUCKKK! Ron! More please!"

I was thrashing around on my bed, covered in a light sheen of sweat. I stopped my ministrations to find two pieces of rope. I just found two Hogwarts ties. I tied my feet to my bed posts, making my hips stay off the bed. I put the banana back into my dripping cunt. The renewed feeling on it filling was enough to make me want to cum. But I held off. I couldn't cum yet. I slowed my movements making me feel like I was dying slowly. My breathing became more labored as the inferno in my belly increased rapidly.

"Oh gods FUCK!" I screamed as my hips started bucking into the banana. I couldn't stand it anymore – I started pumping my hand faster and faster, finally letting myself cum.

"AHH FUUCKK – uhgn – uh uh UH – RON! Harder! Please! Faster! OHH!"

My whole body shook as the ridges in the condom made me cum harder than I have ever cum before. My head flew back in ecstasy as my orgasm ripped through my body. My legs locked and strained against the ties when the ripples of pleasure coursed through my body.

As I calmed down, I couldn't stop shaking. Sweat dripped down my nose and face, but I was happier than I have ever been when Ron isn't near me.

Let's just say: whenever I'm bored ever again (which will be a lot) I won't wait to try this again – with different kinds of condoms, now that I know where they are.

**hope you enjoyed! i'll be back soon 3 immahorny**


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